Five Ways to Mend a Broken Heart

Five Ways to Mend a Broken Heart

Sheba Roy, ND FABNO

Last year following a traumatic life event, I was diagnosed by cardiology with “Broken Heart Syndrome”. 

One in six people with broken heart syndrome have been found to have cancer. And these wounded souls were less likely to survive for five years after treatment, according to a study published in the Journal of the American Heart Association.

Broken heart syndrome or Takotsubo Syndrome, occurs when the heart’s main pumping chamber, or left ventricle, temporarily enlarges and doesn’t pump well. It is usually triggered by emotional or physical stress.

When we are experiencing a significant and unusual amount of stress our adrenal glands release high amounts of catecholamines. These chemicals help the body respond to stress or fear and prepare the body for "fight-or-flight" reactions. The main catecholamines, epinephrine (adrenaline), norepinephrine (noradrenaline), and dopamine, can result in spasms of the tiny blood vessels that feed the heart, are directly toxic to the heart muscle and can cause heart muscle stunning.

Although the syndrome looks like a heart attack with sharp chest pains, rapid heart rate, swelling of the feet, lower limb pain and shortness of breath, there is no accompanying heart damage and no blockage in the coronary arteries that nourish the heart.

“Patients with broken heart syndrome might benefit if screened for cancer. This may improve their overall survival,” said Christian Templin, M.D., Ph.D., senior author of the study, Clinical Features and Outcomes of Patients With Malignancy and Takotsubo Syndrome: Observations From the International Takotsubo Registry.

“Our study also should raise awareness among oncologists and hematologists that broken heart syndrome should be considered in patients undergoing cancer diagnosis or treatment who experience chest pain, shortness of breath, or abnormalities on their echo [and not just potential cardotoxicity with drugs and radiation].” Templin said.

One in six is remarkable. And it is another reminder that protecting our hearts is essential in the fight against cancer. While physical stressors can precipitate broken heart syndrome, it’s also an important reminder of the impact of emotional stressors.

I am passionate about working in cancer because it demands a holistic approach. By that I mean, it forces us to think about the many ways cancer impacts the health of the whole person, our family and our community; but just as importantly, when we are thinking of survivorship and PREVENTION, we have to consider how the health of the whole person, family and community influences the risk of cancer!

Despite advances in genomic medicine, cancer cannot be described by a single event. If it could, all smokers would get lung cancer or all victims of broken heart syndrome would get cancer. If those looking for a cure were willing to take a multidisciplinary approach to this worthy endeavor and take into account not just oncology, infectious and immunology but metaphysics, we may yet see a radical understanding of how cancer is a reflection of the whole.

Love is the singularly most dangerous activity we can undertake in our lives. Falling in love, loving a leaving child, leaving a loving parent, losing a loving pet…all of these are a risk. But to not risk is to not live.

Ultimately, when we take our last breaths, the sum total of our existence is how much we loved and are loved in return.

But taking this greatest of risks require us to be vulnerable, to be seen, to need. It requires us to give without assumption of reciprocity. It requires us to receive, sometimes without the ability to give back.

And the loss of the person we loved can bring up the most painful of questions, “Was the person he or she saw in me, worthy of love?”

I will share five life lessons I learned in mending my own broken heart.

There is no way around it, you must go THROUGH it.

Grief and Loss, when ignored or suppressed, become powerful obstacles emotionally and physically. “Going through it” means allowing yourself to sit with the feelings. To allow yourself to fully experience them. 

Try the following. Close your eyes, perhaps diffuse a favorite essential oil and hold a crystal or another sacred object in your hand. 

Breathe IN through your nose for a count of 4. 

Hold it for a count of 4. 

Exhale OUT your mouth for a count of 4. 

Hold it for a count of 4. 

Repeat this 4 times. 

Allow the feeling to enter into your body and mind, hold the space, acknowledge it, like a child that may be acting out. 

Identify where the feeling is showing up in your body: Is it behind your nose? Is it under your breastbone? Is it in your fingertips, your stomach? Let the feeling intensify. Is it giving you any information? Do any thoughts come to mind?

Try to practice tolerance for the pain. Breathe into that physical space the pain occupies and then stretch or move in a way that moves that part of the body. 

Practice this daily. 

The body keeps the score, whether we like it or not. So when we have the habit of allowing ourselves a period of months after a loss, where daily we allow feelings to move through us, the world on the other side will not look like the one we left behind, it will be brighter, richer, deeper, more congruent, and we may avoid health conditions associated with grief.

Move.

One of the most powerful predictors of depression is lack of exercise. Sometimes in the land of sadness and grief, we can get stuck and we start to lose a sense of feeling, the brain adapts to a lower level of function. Get up and move. 

Start with a slow walk for 10 minutes a day outdoors, work your way up. Slowly add on. 

Do not set BIG goals. Set SMALL, attainable goals. 

If you set big goals, it’s like looking at the top of the mountain you are trying to climb, rather than the step in front of you. It’s easy to get defeated or to stop before you start. 

Exercise increases the activity of serotonin in your brain, this is your happy chemical. Further, it fosters the growth of nerve cells and supports your heart. You have a beautiful pump wonderfully designed to send blood flow from your head to your feet, but what brings it back up so it can get re supplied with oxygen? Movement. As you move, the muscles in your body compress the veins which contain one-way valves. In this way, the veins inch the blood back up, or in the case of someone who is mid-movement, flush it back up. This takes pressure off the heart and continues to supply the body, including your beautiful pump, with fresh oxygen.

As you begin to gain competence, exercise is a wonderful way to give you a sense of empowerment and restore trust with your body especially following addiction, disassociation, betrayal or medical diagnosis.

Counseling

It’s important to tell your story. A good counselor is someone who can hold unconditionally loving, non-judgmental space for you to process your thoughts out loud. A good counselor can:

• Be an advocate

• Help you uncover your strengths

• Rediscover your voice

• Restore your joy

• Remind you that a healthy relationship is one where you experience security, consistency, joy, and respect

It’s hard to find therapists familiar with the specific issues that cancer patients and survivors face. We staff our mental health with specialists in psycho-oncology. 

Cancer can exacerbate, trigger or make more intense the experience of grief and loss. We lose so much with this diagnosis. First and foremost, the security of being well and being HERE. Many of us don’t realize this, but the most profound loss associated with a cancer diagnosis is the visceral realization that we do not live forever. 

This, regardless of our age, is not a tangible awareness that we live with on the daily, or we wouldn’t live at all. 

The very act of falling in love, building a family, going to school, starting a business, even getting our nails done, planning a meal, painting a wall, walking our dog, every single act as a human, is underlined by hope.

Hope in a future, hope for the next living moment. 

Cancer scares us and robs us of that hope and it can cause many of us to spend our time trying to predict the future. This impossible task has the unintended result of causing us to die a million deaths before our last breath. 

The primary focus of a good counselor educated in oncology is to help his or her patients live for today. As this moment, is all we ultimately have. 

Massage or Therapeutic Touch

At a time when many of us are “skin starved”, human touch is essential. When trust has been broken, with assault, trauma, a medical diagnosis, betrayal, it’s important to reconnect with the experience of safe, therapeutic touch. 

We are bringing on massage therapists with a high level of integrity, a passion for working with a vulnerable population and we pay for continued training in cancer care. 

It can feel like a challenge to pay someone to lay hands on you under any circumstances, but the act of engaging in that therapeutic relationship is an act of forgiveness for yourself and others, and it’s a willingness to be vulnerable in an attempt to heal.

The American Massage Therapy Association has a nice piece on the known benefits to cancer patients which include:

• Reducing pain

• Alleviating stress

• Relieving nausea

• Reducing depression and anxiety

• Improving sleep and lessening fatigue

• Preventing chemotherapy-induced peripheral neuropathy

• Relieving lymphedema

Love Again. Love Anew

C.S. Lewis once wrote, “To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.”

Loving again is a critical piece of mending a broken heart. I use the Healing Trauma guided visualization from Belleruth Napperstek on healthjourneys.com to help me to connect myself to those that loved me and have passed on and to stay open to those that will love me in the future. 

I visualize the kind of love I want in my life and every day I try to keep my little flame of hope alive for a life filled with joy, family and love.

When I take my last breath, I want my husband and my children to be holding me as I walk into eternal life. I want to remember all of you and I want to be remembered. I want my last words to be, “I love you all.”

Dr. Roy

What’s So Great About Being Grateful?

Gratitude is defined as “the quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness.” For some, this quality is an inherent part of life. For others, practicing gratitude can feel like just another task on a never-ending to-do list.

As Thanksgiving approaches we will undoubtedly be reminded to be grateful, regardless of if we celebrate the holiday or not. Whether you struggle to be grateful amidst the current state of affairs, or you embrace gratitude regularly, I wanted to share some evidence-based reasoning as to why gratitude is so tremendously beneficial.

Gratitude increases overall satisfaction with life.
Gratitude has historically and consistently been perceived as inherent to our wellbeing and satisfaction with life. When we approach the world with a grateful disposition, we inevitably savor positive experiences and situations more readily. As a result, more positive experiences are not taken for granted. We are encouraged to build and maintain relationships, to give and receive help, and to be more flexible in our thinking.

Gratitude also serves as a buffer against negative emotion. It promotes changes in our thought processes that lead to reframing negative experiences and memories into more positive interpretations. These changes in our thought processes also lead to increased resilience, ability to cope, and decrease our perception of stress. Overall, gratitude leads to more positive feelings and more openness to experience, both which promote satisfaction with life.

Gratitude improves relationships.
Gratitude, by nature, is “prosocial”. It encourages us to forgive, to sympathize, to accept help, and give to others. When we approach relationships with a grateful disposition, we are more likely to feel appreciated, to perceive others positively, and strive to maintain relationships. As our sense of being appreciated increases, so does our desire to provide appreciation and be responsive to the needs of others. This leads to a higher level of commitment overall.

We also are more likely to create new relationships when we have a grateful disposition. We act more warmly and inviting to new people and can more easily experience a sense of relatedness despite differences. Through gratitude, we feel like we belong, and therefore we work harder at the relationships we have and are more encouraged to make new ones.

Gratitude mitigates loneliness.

Knowing gratitude enhances our satisfaction with life and our relationships, it isn’t hard to imagine that gratitude must have an effect on loneliness. Loneliness is essentially a conflict between the relationships we wish to have and our perception of the relationships we do have. It is a lack of intimacy and meaning, rather than solitude or isolation alone.

Gratitude can minimize loneliness through some of the same mechanisms that improve our relationships. It enhances our ability to give and receive help, encourages us to reach out to others, and assists us in building trust. However, loneliness specifically can be reduced through the changes in our cognitions (or thought processes) that cause us to see our relationships as lacking.

A common thread in the experience of loneliness is self-blaming. The lens of loneliness causes us to see our personalities as unchangeable, to see social situations as out of our control, and to see ourselves as unappealing to others. Gratitude allows us to see a different reality; that we are in fact likable, that we contribute to our own success, and that social competence can be developed over time. As we shift into a grateful mindset, loneliness naturally diminishes and is prevented from continuing.

Gratitude reduces feelings of anxiety.

Negative emotional experiences, such as anxiety, often stem from the way we relate to ourselves. We often feel anxious when we react harshly toward ourselves after sensing that we have failed. These patterns of self-criticism, self-attacking and an inability to express empathy toward ourselves when confronted with our short comings are common internal dialogues with major adverse impacts.

Gratitude, however, allows us to perceive ourselves in a different light. It allows us to reassure ourselves more readily, show ourselves compassion, and reduce feelings of inadequacy. When we are grateful, we can see ourselves as the recipience of altruistic actions, leading us to feel valued, deserving, and worthy. In practicing gratitude, we can foster a gentle relationship with ourselves that undoubtedly lowers our levels of anxiety.

Gratitude is a key element of post-traumatic growth.

We often hear the word “trauma” and think of combat veterans, survivors of natural disasters, or individuals who have tragically been subjected to acts of violence or abuse. However, trauma can manifest as a result of many different experiences; illness, the death of a loved one, extreme change, or divorce, to name a few. It is not uncommon to have experienced the impact of trauma at least at some level.

Research has shown us that gratitude plays an important role in healing from trauma. It fosters our ability to see the benefits from even the most adverse experiences without condoning those experiences. If a grateful outlook is present before the trauma, or is built with support after, we are likely to appreciate our relationships more, to see the value in each day, and ultimately to “live life to the fullest” as we reconcile the impermanence of life.

Gratitude helps improve sleep.

As we close our eyes for the night, we often ruminate on missed opportunities, rough interactions with others, lost objects, or whatever else has worried us throughout our day. Unfortunately, while this is a common experience, these negative thoughts can majorly impair the quality and duration of our sleep. Practicing gratitude allows us to shift our pre-sleep thought processes into a more positive headspace. Alleviating worry and stress in this way leads us to sleep more soundly and for longer, which inevitably improves our mood and our ability to manage stress in our daily lives.

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I know how hard it can be to be grateful each and every day. Like so many other skills, it takes practice to develop a thankful outlook in life. I hope this list has inspired you to look a little closer at all the splendid things there are to be grateful for in your own life, be them big or small.

For more information about gratitude, support in identifying all you are thankful for, or simply a safe space to talk through what’s on your mind, give me a call at (269) 808-6422 or email me at jessica@aimnatural.com to schedule an appointment.

Thank you all for taking the time to read this message, and for letting me walk alongside you through the ups and downs of life. It’s an honor to serve you; one that I am truly, deeply grateful for.

Until we speak, be well.

Jessica Blodgett, MA, LLPC

A Letter from Our Therapist

Dearest Mothers and Fathers,

“Now is not the time to simply tighten our bootstraps and power through...

avoiding anxiety actually fuels it to grow and keeps us from moving forward in our lives.”

As the new school year continues to unfold, I can’t help but think of all the parents out there working tirelessly to keep the peace amidst chaotic changes. We knew parenthood would be challenging, to say the least, but we never anticipated the extent of that challenge as we face it today. 

School is now at home, there’s a global health crisis, many societal changes, a financial crisis, and tons of uncertainty… Through all of this, our children need us more than ever, and yet our schedules and our emotions have us spread so thin it can be difficult to help ourselves, let alone anyone else.  

I know what you may be thinking; “I’m actually going to lose my mind. What is wrong with me?” Trust me, you are not alone in thinking this way. 

For some of us, anxiety is an altogether new and scary experience; for others, anxiety is like an old acquaintance you wish would stop showing up at your doorstep. Whether anxiety is new to you or simply different today than ever before, you may be wondering how to manage it. 

First, I want to stress that it’s actually entirely normal to be feeling anxious right now. Anxiety is the result of a complex alert system in our bodies that is actually designed to help us. It says “Hey, you! There’s a threat!” to which our bodies can respond by fighting or flying. 

Sometimes the threat is real, like an angry bear charging down the path on your hike, and sometimes it’s imagined, like the criticism we fear facing from other parents if we post that picture of our child eating cookies for breakfast (even though he looks so adorable). 

Right now, our alarm system is alerting us left and right, but there is nowhere we can fly and nothing tangible to fight. So, what does anxiety do? It courses through our bodies again, and again, and again, unless we step in to change it. It can show up as frustration, as tension in our muscles, as a racing heart or tormented thinking. It can leave us feeling helpless.

“What can I do about it?” you may ask, “If I ignore it, won’t it just go away?”

Well, you can’t ignore anxiety. Feelings don’t respond well to people trying to fix them. Now is not the time to simply tighten our bootstraps and power through, no matter how much we may want to. In reality, avoiding anxiety actually fuels it to grow and keeps us from moving forward in our lives. 

Despite what our anxious thoughts may tell us, there is actually a lot we can do to embrace our emotions and make them manageable. Knowing this, I want to share some tips to help us feel more in control of our lives and prepared to face whatever new challenges may arise.

Make time for yourself. 

I don’t mean just bubble baths and pedicures (although Lord knows we all would love that right about now) rather time dedicated purely to your needs. I know how challenging this can be with the whole family cooped up under one roof, but intentionally carving out time for yourself is still possible. 

For example, my fiancé and I made a pact that, once the kids are asleep in the evening, we each take 30 minutes to do something entirely for ourselves before we dive into Netflix or collapse into bed. Let me tell you, a measly 30 minutes a day has made an immense amount of difference. By dedicating even a small chunk of time, you can keep yourself and your health a priority in your life. 

Encourage independence in your kids.

Right now, our school-aged (and younger) children are lacking opportunities to interact with anyone outside of their immediate families. At first glance, it may seem wonderful to spend so much more time with our kids than ever, but there are downsides to this new reality as well. 

Children need space to learn, grow, and become self-sufficient. When Mom and Dad are suddenly also Teacher, Friend, and Disciplinarian, the boundaries between us and our children start to blur and kids can easily begin to regress. It’s important to foster independent actions in our children whenever it is safely and responsibly possible. Yes, they’ll likely need your help navigating this virtual education system in place today, but that doesn’t mean we can (or should) spend every waking moment together. 

Let them run around the back yard, even if they’ll be filthy when they come inside. 

Let them pick out their clothes for the day, even if that Superman cape and that pajama shirt don’t seem “school appropriate”. 

Let them choose their own lunch, even if that means they don’t eat as healthy as you’d like (because let’s be real here, they throw the healthy stuff away at school half the time anyway.) 

Most importantly, let them be kids, even if that means they’ll have to work a bit harder when school does become face-to-face again. 

See a counselor.

Sometimes managing your emotions on top of every other responsibility on your plate is simply too much. Talking to a counselor or therapist can help you discover new ways to cope with whatever it is that you, as a unique human being, are facing. Even just to release some of the mental energy you are inevitably carrying around, talking with a professional can only help.

If we aren’t the right git, we will help you to find the right fit.

Minimize social media time. 

This one is HUGE. While there are obviously many incredible things about social media, over-use can also have a devastating impact on our emotional state. Yes, we can connect to our friends and families, as we absolutely should right now. However, I encourage you to think about social media as the business that it is. 

Social media platforms are designed so that their funding comes from external sources, such as advertisers or news stations. They make money off of tailoring content on your newsfeeds to whatever it is that keeps you engaged, even “fake news” that generates fear and distrust in others. By limiting your social media time, you can gain some control over the information you consume and, ultimately, the way you feel. 

Grounding techniques. 

Anxiety is often fueled by thinking about future events and anticipating negative outcomes. 

“What if my car breaks down on the way to the store?”

“My boss is going to be so mad if I can’t get this done today.”

“My son is going to fail his class because I can’t figure out this online-learning thing.”

Sound familiar? Human beings, by nature, often jump to worst-case-scenario as a part of that complex alert system I mentioned earlier. If we can predict a threat, we have a better chance of changing it, right?

In reality, this type of thinking doesn’t give us the control we hope for, it simply gives us anxiety.

Another way to really combat this anxiety is through grounding, which is a fancy way to describe bringing your attention back to the present moment. What we really have control of is the here-and-now in front of us and focusing on that can alleviate a lot of anxiety. 

A grounding technique that seems simple but can be powerful is distraction. You can distract yourself from your thoughts and begin focus on the here-and-now in many ways, but one discreet technique that can be used anywhere is: naming or numbering:

Pick a color. Now name all of the items or objects you can see that are that color. 

Pick an object. How many of them can you see from where you are?
Whatever you choose, using your senses to ground yourself in your current surroundings is a powerful way to shift your focus away from anxious thoughts. 

Patience. Patience. Patience. 

Whether it’s with your kids needing what feels like constant attention, with yourself for dropping the ball more than you usually would, or with the world at large for feeling so foreign right now, practicing that tried-and-true virtue of patience is absolutely critical. 

We are all learning to cope with this new and constantly changing world we live in. Remembering we are all in this together, we all deserve that extra bit of patience, and kindness can go a long way. Take a deep breath, and know that despite the uncertainty we feel, this is temporary, and normalcy will find us again in time. 

My heart is with every single one of you. Together we can support one another and make the absolute best of an immensely challenging time. If you are feeling overwhelmed, or want some extra support right now, know that I am here for you. Give me a call at (269) 808-6422, call our front desk at (248) 798-2942 or send me an email at jessica@aimnatural.com so we can make a plan to help you through. 

Until we speak, be well.

Jessica
MA, LPPC

Ask the Doctor: Xanax Vs. Natural Alternatives

Q: I’ve been thinking about Xanax for anxiety, are there natural options?

A: Anxiety is a global issue in the cancer community. Not just for patients but for caregivers as well. And understandably so.

As natural medicine doctors, we look at problems holistically. This means we are looking at the root not the symptoms.

Anxiety is a SYMPTOM. And it works on two levels: the mind and the body.

On the mental end, anxiety is the product of thinking about the Past or the Future.

Mindfulness techniques are to keep our minds from ruminating about the past or projecting into the future. In other words, techniques to train our minds to stay present in the moment we are in, and then as that moment passes, to stay present in the next moment we are in, and so on.

It gets easier with practice.

There are spiritual disciplines that focus ONLY on mindfulness, every moment of every day for that disciple’s entire life!

It’s not worth taking drugs or supplements for anxiety without looking at mindfulness first. Respond to us with your favorite resources. Here are some of ours:

—Mindfulness Meditations; websites: SimpleHabit.com; Mindful.org; Headspace.org
—Create a place for meditation, reflection, and prayer, perhaps using an altar, a shawl, a blanket, a mat, incense, crystals, a tasbih or rosary
—Use musical tracks that help you to create this level of presence: Album: Mother Divine; Youtube: Biaural beats; Healthjourneys.com
—Exercise for 30 minutes daily and try to do it (safely), to the point of being breathless
—Yoga: Hatha, Heated, Yin

On the body level, we have 12 big cranial nerves that run from the brain through the body and manage all executive function.

The 10th is called the vagus nerve. It manages the heart, lungs, stomach, small and large intestine, and rectum. It also manages anxiety. This is why anxiety causes an upset stomach, diarrhea, constipation, breathlessness, hiccups, and chest pain.

It’s also why stomach issues, heart problems, and respiratory issues cause anxiety.

It’s important to work on bowel, heart, and lung function, AND we can redirect nerve stimuli from the anxiety pathway by doing things like focusing on Breathing.

In fact, a review of all the clinical data conclusively shows that a twice-daily, 10-minute practice of mindfulness meditation, breath work, and yoga reduces anxiety.

Breathwork can be something as simple as square breathing.
1. Inhale through the nose for a count of 6
2. Hold for a count of 6
3. Exhale through the mouth for a count of 6
4. Hold for a count of 6

After trying these approaches, if we aren’t seeing anxiety completely remit, it’s a good idea to add in natural therapies. Natural medicine doctors follow a therapeutic order with prescription from least invasive/impactful towards most, so often, unless anxiety is acute, we will start here.

The great thing about natural therapies for anxiety is that they are gentle, rarely interact with any other medications and supplements, and have little to no side effects. All of the therapies listed below are available through BewellwithAIM.com. Please remember, natural therapies are not necessarily safe over the counter. They can be contaminated, have source issues, can be contraindicated with a lot of medications, or can even contain carcinogens. If they are safe to get over the counter, or from alternative brands, then I will place a little “s” next to them for “safe to purchase” over the counter.

—Lavender (as an essential oil, capsule, or tea)
—Theanine (as a gummy, capsule, or tablet) (s)
—GABA (as a capsule)
—Passionflower (as a tea) (s)
—Hops (as a tea) (s)
—CBD (as a capsule, tincture, capsule)
—Chamomile (tea) (s)
—Skullcap (capsule)
—Ashwagandha (capsule, tea)
—Magnolia (capsule)
—Magnesium Glycinate (as a powder, capsule, liquid) (s)
—Melatonin (LOW DOSE only, capsule, gummy) (s)
—Lemon Balm (tea, tincture)

It’s not always so simple as just taking one of these things over the counter. We use combinations based on a holistic, individualized approach. As examples:

—If a patient is tired and wired, we may use a formula like Calm Restore from Gaia for 6 months to correct adrenal issues
—If the anxiety is manifests as difficulty sleeping, a lack of energy, cognitive fog and weepiness, we may use a combination called R.E.M. from Priority One.
—If a patient is waking up between 2 and 4 am, crashes in the afternoon, and is feeling burnt out or exhausted, we may try Cortisol Manager from Integrative Therapeutics.
—For sleep initiation, we may combine a formula with 100-400 mg of L-theanine and Lavender essential oil or Chamomile Tea.

Xanax, starting with a 0.25 mg dose, can be quick and effective for anxiety that comes on suddenly and based on a new situation. As in, “I’m having surgery the next day and can’t stop my mind from running.” It’s also a good conversation to begin with a psychiatrist or internist.

But Xanax is not a great drug to take for chronic anxiety (feelings that persist for more than 2 weeks), because we can become dependent, what looks like anxiety may be something else, and most IMPORTANTLY, if we START with Xanax, we don’t learn what mindfulness has the opportunity to teach us:

We only really have this moment.

It may be a surprising thing to realize, but this simple statement is perhaps, the only absolute truth that exists. 

If we can get current with this moment, and experience it, fully, we can face life in a far more meaningful way than we can imagine. 

Regretting the past and obsessing about the future, means we don’t live at all.

Go to BewellwithAIM to purchase supplements for anxiety but make sure to talk to Jessica (covered by your insurance) about mindfulness training and talk to Dr. Roy or Dr. March for personalized, individual strategies to manage anxiety.

Have a question for the doctor? Email us at Dr.Roy@aimnatural.com. We will publish the answer on Facebook, and our website.

Stress Management

Tips on Managing Stress

by Jessica Blodgett, LLPC, Oncology Mental Health

Hello Everyone,

Whether it’s from COVID-19 updates, racial tension and police brutality on the news, fears surrounding treatment, or the many tasks of daily life, we are feeling immersed in stress and uncertainty like never before. 

Stress looks different for everyone, but regardless of how it shows up for you, it impacts us all in a mental, emotional, physical, and perhaps even spiritual way. It can keep you awake at night, cause tension and pain in your muscles, make your heart race or your thoughts swirl, and even contribute to cancer recurrence and growth. 

Knowing this, and how absolutely VITAL it is to manage stress, I wanted to take a moment to talk to you all about the importance of mindfulness. Mindfulness is the ability to create space between what you experience and your reaction. When we are traumatized and stressed, the space between the two narrows. 

By practicing mindfulness through things like breathwork, yoga, and meditation, we can bring our focus to the PRESENT moment, expand that space, and ultimately choose how we respond to the world around us. 

Mindfulness is an essential practice in stress management. I hope this list of tips, strategies, and resources can help make mindfulness a part of your daily life.

TIP #1: Try a news fast…pick a period of time that you will NOT get on your phone, TV, or radio, to listen to or read the news. 

The “news” is often NOT new and it may not be relevant to YOU. Remember: the media is a BUSINESS that is designed to talk about ANYTHING that will keep viewers engaged and make money, even if that means perpetuating FEAR. 

TIP #2: If you are new to meditation, try guided meditations or visualizations on Simple Habit, HealthJourneys.com, or Calm Masterclass. You can find more resources by simply Googling “guided meditation” to find videos, websites, or downloadable apps for your phone that contain meditations.

“Blissful Deep Relaxation” from TheHonestGuys on YouTube is a lovely introductory video to guided meditation that can make meditation easier for those of us new to meditating.

I also recommend a meditation from HealthJourneys.com called “Fight Cancer” which can be found here. Listen to it daily. 

TIP #3: Try a body scan. Close your eyes, lie down, and inhale through your nose for a count of 4. Hold that breath for a count of 4, and exhale through your mouth for a count of 4.  Repeat FOUR times. 

Then scan your body from your toes up to your head. Look for where you are holding stress and focus on intentionally releasing that stress. 

For some this looks like visualizing a set of “healing hands” working out the tension, or a warm ball of light heating up the stress and melting it away; whatever you choose, it’s important to begin to recognize areas where stress lives in your body so you can gain control of releasing that stress. 

Try “Ten Minute Guided Body Scan” by The Meditation Coach on YouTube. Again, for those of us new to body scans or meditation, this video walks you through visualizing stress in your body and helping you to release it.

TIP #4: On Amazon or iTunes, buy or download “Soul of Healing Meditations” from Deepak Chopra and listen to the first four tracks. These powerful guided meditations help release resentment, cultivate acceptance, and teach you more about body scanning. 

TIP #5: Seek professional counseling. Counseling is an amazing way to develop self-awareness, coping skills tailored to your specific needs, gain emotional support, process trauma, or talk through your experiences in a safe, confidential environment. 

I see almost exclusively cancer patients and their families, and run a support group on Saturdays for bereaved spouses. To contact me, call (248) 798-2942 OR (269) 808-6422; or email me at jessica@aimnatural.com.

I am a Master’s level oncology mental health counselor, and one of only a few specialists in the state who sees cancer patients, their caregivers, and their families for the stress, anxiety, depression, and fear associated with a cancer diagnosis. I’m covered by insurance, and I do offer a sliding scale for those that don’t have insurance. 

TIP #6: Object Meditation is another way to ease into meditation. It’s important to cultivate a relationship with an object: a rosary, a crystal, a rock, a piece of fabric, etc. Try to choose something special or interesting and carry it with you. 

Once you have your item, utilize your SENSES to focus on that item. What does it feel like in your hand? How heavy or light is it? Does it have a smell? What kind of texture can you feel?

Using your senses to focus on the item can help GROUND you in the present moment; allowing you to mindfully focus on the here and now. 

Unsure of what item to use? Common chemotherapy drugs like Taxanes come from the bark of the Pacific Yew Tree; platinums come from the earth’s core and are the heavy metal often used in wedding bands; or the tecans, which come from the bark of the Chinese Happy Tree. All items that you can bond with and focus on through object meditation. 

TIP #7: With businesses opening and many people starting to be less cautious about staying sanitary, it’s easy to become stressed or worried about COVID-19. If you are worried about going out, take things slowly and don’t do anything YOU are NOT comfortable with. 

Try to take things in baby steps. First go to your yard, check in with how you feel and then take another step; perhaps have a family member or someone you trust come over and visit them outside for a while (with masks and a safe distance). 

The risk is real, but with caution and attention to your safety, you can begin to determine what you feel is safe for you.

TIP #8: Reading the right things can help you understand your stress and gain insight into how you can manage it effectively. I recommend titles such as “Why Zebras Don’t Get Ulcers” by Robert Sapolsky; “The Body Keep the Score” by Bessel van der Klok; or “Living Beautifully with Uncertainty and Change” by Pema Chodron. 

TIP #9: 4-7-8 breathing or SQUARE breathing is a breathwork technique that can lower your heart rate, slow your breathing, and help you focus on your surroundings. 

It goes like this: inhale through your NOSE for a count of 4, hold for 7, and exhale through your MOUTH for 8. Remember, always inhale through your nose when trying to lower cortisol. 

Try keeping a rubber band on your finger, or fabric on your wrist, that reminds you to do this breathwork. 

TIP #10: Practicing good sleep hygiene has phenomenal benefits for lowering stress. To practice good sleep hygiene, sleep in a dark, cool room and use air filters or plants to clean the air. Having specific plants in your home to purify the air around you can help with sleep as well as stress. “TED Talks TV: How to Grow Fresh Air” can be found online, and this amazing resource walks you through which plants you NEED in your home to help with air quality.

Minimize distracting noises by using a sound machine, or anything that produces “white noise” like a fan. You can even avoid those middle-of-the-night awakenings by having a tiny, protein-rich snack, and by taking 200-400mg of L theanine (a non-narcotic, non-habit forming, anxiolytic) at bedtime. L theanine can be purchased from BeWellWithAIM.com 

TIP #11: 27% of cancer patients struggle with PTSD. PTSD is when you have experienced a previous life trauma, perhaps a divorce, abuse, or some sort of betrayal…and the current medical experience triggers THOSE feelings.

When we become a patient, we go from a name to a medical record number, we are surrounded by decision makers that hold our lives in their hands, we can feel voiceless, powerless, and invaded.

This triggers the old wound, and a lot of feelings from previous life experiences come up. It could look like sleep disturbances, addiction, tearfulness, panic…this is PTSD. 

PTSD is something that you CANNOT manage on your own. It’s important to have a coach, like myself or another trained professional, there to guide you as you identify your triggers and learn to manage when your fears are coming up so you can cope better with today. 

TIP #12: Lean into your faith or spirituality. With so much uncertainty in the air, it’s important to connect to one another; and to explore our relationship with the Divine, whatever that may mean to you. 

Through religious or spiritual practices, we can feel connected to our communities, our neighbors, and our families, regardless of what may keep us apart. 

We can step outside of ourselves and feel in touch with the infinite as we pray, or read scripture, or meditate.

Regardless of what we may face, we can be reminded to be grateful and to look for the joy in the world around us. And in doing so, we can transform our experience. 

…

I genuinely hope you find these tips helpful. Remember, if you are feeling stressed or anxious, you are NOT alone. To get the help you need and learn more strategies that work for YOU, call me at (248) 798-2942 OR (269) 808-6422; or by emailing directly at jessica@aimnatural.com. 

Until we speak, be well.

Jessica

A Message to Parents

Dear Patients,

Our children bring so much joy to our lives. Their goofy antics; their sticky kisses; their relentless questions; they keep us on our toes and ground us in what is truly important. We love them with all that we are and cherish the time we spend with them.

…but being cooped up in the house with them 24/7 with no breaks? That’s enough to drive even the best parent a little bit crazy (myself included!).

I know you may be thinking there’s no way to get through this with your sanity intact. I want to reassure you that you and your family can not only “get through this” but grow closer and stronger in the process.

Take a look at these essential strategies for helping your family through this stressful time that you can start using today regardless of what age your kids may be.

1. Develop a routine. Kids of all ages need structure. The sudden shift from a planned-out school day to the freedom of home can be a real challenge. By creating a routine, your children can feel a sense of security and know what to anticipate, and you will feel more in control.

2. Plan ahead. Spend a few hours scouring the internet for kid- or teen-friendly at home activities. So many items we all have just lying around can be turned into games, toys, crafts, or learning opportunities for us and our kids to share. By planning ahead, you will always have something in your toolbox to pull out when boredom strikes.

3. Talk to your kids about what’s going on. Think of this as an opportunity to show your kids how to handle stress with grace. By sharing your feelings and keeping them informed (age appropriately) they will learn how to better communicate their emotions and feel empowered.

4. Finally, don’t forget about yourself. Being a caregiver of any kind can be overwhelming. It’s easy to prioritize our children’s needs over our own. Even if it’s just in the evening after the kids are asleep, make sure you allow time for self-care. Read a book, write a letter, have a pretend “date night” with your spouse, go for a walk, or do whatever it is that helps you feel a sense of calm.

As a mother to a two-year-old boy, I’ve had my share of struggles with being cooped up at home. Dr. March shared a wonderful quote with me that brought me a great deal of comfort, and I want to end by sharing it with all of you:

“Parents: What we are being asked to do is not humanly possible. There is a reason we are either a working parent, a stay-at-home parent, or a part-time working parent.

Working, parenting, and teaching are three different jobs that cannot be done at the same time.

It’s not hard because you are doing it wrong. It’s hard because it’s too much.
Do the best you can.

When you have to pick, because at some point you will, choose connection. Pick playing a game over arguing about an academic assignment. Pick teaching your child to do laundry rather than feeling frustrated that they aren’t helping. Pick laughing, and snuffling, and reminding them that they are safe.

If you are stressed, lower your expectations where you can and virtually reach out for social connection. We are in this together to stay well. That means mentally well, too.”

-Emily W. King Ph.D.

I’m here to support you through this. Call me or email me (269-808-6422; jessica@aimnatural) so we can set up a time to talk through what you’re going through.

Until we speak, be well.

Jessica

Mental Health and a Relaxing Breath

Hello everyone,

Struggling with anxiety during these uncertain times? Who isn’t? :)

Give me a call or send me an email (269-808-6422; jessica@aimnatural.com). Even if it’s just a few minutes to vent your feelings, or an hour to strategizing how to manage marital stress in close quarters, we can talk over your concerns and bill your insurance.

We are waiving copays at this time as a gesture from Dr. Roy, so there is NO cost to you to get help.

Over the coming weeks, I plan to share techniques and strategies for managing your emotions to help you achieve wellness.

I’m sure you’ve heard the term “breathing exercises” thrown around in conversation, but what exactly does that mean? Just as it sounds, breathing exercises are activities involving your breathing that can strengthen your ability to find a state of calm amidst the chaos of the world today. Here is a quick breathing exercise that can improve your mood in a matter of moments:

The Relaxing Breath
—Exhale completely through your mouth making a “whooshing” sound
—Close your mouth and inhale through your nose for a count of four
—Hold that breath for a count of seven
—Exhale completely through your mouth for a count of eight
—Repeat four or five times

Practice this daily to become more in touch with yourself, your emotions, and areas of tension in your body. Write it out on a notecard and carry it with you to pull out whenever you are feeling anxious or overwhelmed. Integrate relaxing breaths into rituals you already have in place, such as yoga or meditation. Whatever way you do it, it will help you feel more grounded and less anxious.

Reach out to me directly and set up a time for us to talk. I am here for you to support you through whatever you may be facing.

Be well.

Jessica Blodgett

Email:jessica@aimnatural.com
Cell: (269) 808-6422
Office tel: (248) 798-2942

Caring for Your Mental Health

Hello everyone,

With so much information flooding us at every turn, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed or confused or even yelled at.

Many media sources urge you to take care of yourself by not touching your face or washing your hands (which are excellent suggestions) but what about your mental health? How do we care for that when we face a real threat?

The answer isn’t always so straight forward.

My name is Jessica, and I’m one of the mental health counselors at Associates of Integrative Medicine. I specialize in crisis, anxiety, stress, trauma, grief and loss associated with a cancer diagnosis.

As we all settle in and shelter at home, my hope is to share strategies for managing your emotions.

To get the support you need, call me or send me an email (269-808-6422; jessica@aimnatural.com).

Even if it’s for a few minutes, I am here for you to discuss any concerns you may have or help you find the right strategies to improve your mood.

Dr. Roy is waiving copays for the time being as a gesture to you all, so there is NO cost to you to pick up the phone and get the help you need.

So, how do we begin to care for ourselves mentally/emotionally? The first step to caring for your mental health is identifying what you are feeling. Much like any health issue, how can you fix it if you don’t know what’s wrong? As many of us are experiencing more stress than usual in today’s climate, I want to share some tips for identifying stress in yourself.

Here are some common signs of stress you may be experiencing:
1. You’re easily irritated or quick to snap on those you love.
2. You’re struggling to find the motivation to keep up with everyday tasks.
3. You’re experiencing headaches, stomach aches, or body aches.
4. You feel tightness or tension in your muscles.
5. You feel exhausted all the time.
6. You feel like you are working hard all the time, but not making any progress.
7. There is so much to do, but you’re having a hard time deciding what to do first.
8. You are having trouble sleeping.
9. You aren’t putting effort into your physical appearance or taking care of yourself.
10. You have worrisome, racing thoughts.

If any of these sound like you, remember you are not alone. Take a moment to breathe, pause, reflect, and get in touch with yourself and the emotions you are feeling. Call a friend, read that book you’ve had on your shelf for months, clean out your junk drawer, go for a walk, or reach out to a professional like myself to talk it out.

Call or email me directly to set up a time for us to talk. I am here to support you no matter where you are at emotionally.

Until we speak, be well.

Jessica Blodgett

Email: jessica@aimnatural.com
Cell: (269) 808-6422
Office tel: (248) 798-2942